"Music that inspires gratitude, hope & healing." Amy Sky, Olivia Newton-John & Beth Nielsen Chapman

I Don’t Know What To Say, I Don’t Know What To Do; My Story Dianne Gray



Monday is usually my favorite day because it holds so much promise! Yes, it’s true. I LOVE Mondays and am always curious what magical thing might unfold in the days between the beginning and the end of the week!   However, this particular Monday, instead of bouncing out of bed like I usually do, I just laid there with a heaviness of being that wouldn’t let me move.  I struggled to roll over, trying to figure out what on earth was bothering me.

At the same time, I kept hearing Amy Sky, Beth Nielsen Chapman and Olivia Newton John’s  LIV ON song, “Don’t Know What To Say” running through my head, over and over. I kept feeling the lyrics: 

You don’t know what to say

You don’t know what to do

When life delivers this

The right words don’t exist

The fault is not with you

And finally, it hit me.  I don’t know what to say…. I don’t know what to do… because life’s delivered this…             and with that, I rolled over, put two feet on the ground and wrote you the message below… because it’s not just any Monday. It’s Halloween.




I woke up this Halloween morning and again this year, felt a sickness in my stomach & an ache in my heart. I’ve vacillated for years about discussing Halloween and how it’s an unofficial “Ugh” day for many bereaved parents.

Why? Because we know intuitively that someone is or in my case some one(s) are missing from our lives.

It’s the day that no one speaks of aloud…but every cell in our grieving-parent-bodies knows that something is “off.”  So, now, I’m calling it like it is…because after 11 years & 8 years of waiting for this bizarre feeling to go away on this ONE day, I’m done stuffing it down…and judging from my inbox on the topic, you are, too.

Grieving parents, my heart goes out to you….and if you’re the friend of a bereaved parent, reach out to him or her today. Just say, “Hi, I didn’t know this day might be hard, but wow, makes sense.”  Then let your bereaved-parent-friend fly his or her own freak flag today, as he or she wishes…’cuz this one day can bring out the Princess or the Witch in all, but especially bereaved parents.

Sent with Love,


#HalloweenIsHard #ThankfullyItsOnlyOneDay #YesYouCanShareThis w/your bereaved parent friend. xox

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